Man, when did it become okay to mom shame someone for every single decision they make. When did it become okay to essentially bully someone publicly because they are doing something that isn’t exactly in line with your personal experience or beliefs. When did it become okay to tell someone how she should feel about their pregnancy experience?
I cringe when “veteran moms” take a community forum (like facebook) for expecting mothers who have questions and turn it into a place to bash and give unsolicited advice without any solid research #IHaveGoogle, duh!
Women are beautiful creatures. Ones that have the ability to grow a human, birth and raise a child, which then leads us to believe we are experts. I even catch myself saying things like “well what I experienced was/is…” when talking to people who just announced their pregnancy. We do this because we are all in this journey it’s great to share our experiences with those around us who are going through it. But, at the same time, there’s a certain way you should go about it. There’s a difference in sharing our experiences versus telling another mom how she should do it, how she should feel, how she should act, etc. You name it. I think I’ve heard it all by now.
So moms-to-be, here is my message to you. Take EVERYTHING with a grain of salt. Appreciate advice and feedback without being too sensitive to it. If it’s important to you, do your own research. If you could care less, then don’t even read into it. Try not to get offended with comments, demands and judgment. But it’s one of those things, everyone is going to have an opinion or a way to do things that they believe is right. Especially someone like me, I put a lot of my life on social media. That opens the floodgates for comments and messages about how I should be feeling or raising my unborn child. As long as YOU are doing the best that YOU can and doing what YOU feel is right, then that’s alright in my book :) . Give yourself credit for how well you are handling this process and what’s to come. It’s a huge life adjustment, and you are doing just fine!
Veteran moms, here is my message to you (and I promise I will take my own advice when I get there). Don’t be an a-hole. Haven’t you heard of the Golden Rule? If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it at all. Be gentle when relaying information. Don’t poke fun or make the questioning momma feel stupid for asking in the first place. Especially us first time mom/pregnant ladies it’s confusing some of the things happening and often times scary. The best thing you can do is share your experience IF SOMEONE ASKS without telling the new mom how to live her life.
As women in general we should focus on empowering women throughout the process instead of bringing them down or making them question their decisions. Shoot, that’s why I write this blog! To be some sort of messenger for my fellow mommas out there dealing with pregnancy/parenting concerns! I never claim to be an expert, nor should you. Every parent, parents differently. No matter what catty comment or message you send to that new momma just remember, they do have their own feelings, their own beliefs and yes, their own google.
Can you relate to this article? What have you experienced as a pregnant mom, a new mom or a veteran mom? Share & feel free to vent!